Taxi Cab Shoe Massacre ?

So Dennis and I were walking down the street (drank, obvlls), and he proceeded to be a dick (something about Nikki giving terrible directions to King Fun I think). SO, since I'm such a principled human being, I then refused to go any further with him until he apologized and stopped pissing on the sanctity of Nikki's infamous drunk directions. He didn't care though, and continued to walk! Bitch. So, I took matters into my own hands- I took off my shoe and hit that kid right in the ass. Now, having only been queer for about 2 years now, I've still got a pretty wicked right arm, and I got him where it hurts. However, much to my dismay, my super strength resulted in the shoe bouncing right off of him and landing in the street. Me, being a drunk dumbass, quickly follows after it, but had to stop at the curb RIGHT as a cab runs over it! Of course, this being hilarious, I fall down laughing, and miss my window to get it before ANOTHER cab runs over it. This sobers me up, and as I sit on the ground in front of Northeastern, looking at my poor, broken Walmart shoe, I whisper... "wah wah"