The undergrad that works with me in lab accidentally got two pieces of glassware stuck together this morning that she was planning on using to do a reaction. She couldn't get them unstuck, so she left them sitting there while she went to lunch and figured she'd deal with it after. I then saw them and decided to try to get them unstuck myself, so I pick them up and try to turn one of the pieces to loosen it, but the second I try, the whole thing shatters under my (apparently) super strong death grip.
I shouldn't be allowed to touch glass ever. Also, if I hadn't been wearing goggles there would be a piece of glass in my eye and I would be writing this post from the emergency room.
wah wah...
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Glass story One
So last night at trivia we were all having a grand old time, hanging out, sucking at trivia, drinking a few beers. I'm holding my 75% full glass in my left hand about 1.5 inches off the table, when all of a sudden, my grip loosens, and the glass slips and hits the table. Now, usually when things hit tables from a few inches away, nothing happens. Maybe the glass tips over and some sloshes out, right? Worst case the whole things falls over and you lose your beer. NO. Instead, the glass COMPLETELY SHATTERS, spewing beer and tiny shards of glass in every direction. No, not even every direction, in fact, most of it landed on Frances, the one person in our group who hadn't had a single beer all night and who now is soaked head to toe in it and smells like a drunk. After picking the bits of glass out of our hands and gathering napkins to clean up the mess, I hang my head in shame and mutter to myself...
wah wah...
wah wah...
Friday, May 29, 2009
More on the love bites
Let me tell you about my morning for a minute. I wake up in Quincy. Wearing pants labeled "Juicy" across the butt. I get dressed. I smell like liquor. I can't find deodorant. I go to work. I am so impressed with myself that I get there on time! I walk by Paul's office, and make some comment like "Look! It's Friday and I'm here on time!" He says, "Yeah... and it looks like you had a rough night..." I just think he's saying that I look a mess. But no. He's referring to the fact that I have pretty intense hickeys. One on each side of my neck.
This is my life...
wah wah...
This is my life...
wah wah...
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Proj Vom in my bed.... again....
So... I'm going to try really hard to tell this story in such a way that it sounds as wah wah as it was... there are at least three different wah wah moments in here. Let's go.
So, me, Andrew, Ronnie and Rusty come back to my place last night after a night of drinking at Border, Hong Kong and Pdise. Yes, I got Andrew into Pdise. Ta-da!
So, we're back at my place, playing some HSM3 wii, and Rusty literally crawls into my room and passes out in my bed. About 30 minutes later I hear this strange noise... I think it's Ronnie since Rusty is asleep and Ronnie sounds the same. Then I realize it's coming from Rusty. I walk in to my room to find Rusty proj vomming all over my bed. wah wah...
I keep trying to get him to vomit in to the trashcan I had set up for him, but he won't do it.
I am trying to move him into the bathroom, Andrew gets on the other side to help me. As we're carrying Rusty through the living room to the bathroom, Ronnie goes "Oh no, his pants are falling down..." and I respond "That's the least of his worries..." Ronnie goes "Oh, how embarrassing... his pants are falling down..."
I take off all my sheets, scrub my mattress and remake my bed so it's all nice again. Rusty stumbles back in to my room and passes out again. I go to take out all the garbage so that it doesn't smell like vomit. I get back inside to find that Rusty has thrown up again! On my new clean second set of sheets!
So I proceed to go through the whole process of cleaning up again... Except I don't have any more sheets! So I throw down a flat sheet to sleep on top of. Rusty proceeds to roll around so that the sheet is just covering him... Okay. I finish cleaning up and finally get to sleep around 4:30.
In the middle of the night, Andrew starts to feel ill. He knows he's gonna throw up, so he runs into the kitchen (not sure why he choose the kitchen and not the bathroom, but whatevlls, at least he didn't throw up in Jing's bed.) He sees what he thinks is an open bag of garbage and vomits in it.
I wake up the next morning and find that the bag of garbage that Andrew threw up in was actually the bag where I had put all my sheets to be washed that Rusty had already thrown up on. Now my sheets are literally drenched in vomit. From two different people. I gave up and just threw them out (along with the blanket I made last year!) So now I have no sheets....
wah...
wah...
So, me, Andrew, Ronnie and Rusty come back to my place last night after a night of drinking at Border, Hong Kong and Pdise. Yes, I got Andrew into Pdise. Ta-da!
So, we're back at my place, playing some HSM3 wii, and Rusty literally crawls into my room and passes out in my bed. About 30 minutes later I hear this strange noise... I think it's Ronnie since Rusty is asleep and Ronnie sounds the same. Then I realize it's coming from Rusty. I walk in to my room to find Rusty proj vomming all over my bed. wah wah...
I keep trying to get him to vomit in to the trashcan I had set up for him, but he won't do it.
I am trying to move him into the bathroom, Andrew gets on the other side to help me. As we're carrying Rusty through the living room to the bathroom, Ronnie goes "Oh no, his pants are falling down..." and I respond "That's the least of his worries..." Ronnie goes "Oh, how embarrassing... his pants are falling down..."
I take off all my sheets, scrub my mattress and remake my bed so it's all nice again. Rusty stumbles back in to my room and passes out again. I go to take out all the garbage so that it doesn't smell like vomit. I get back inside to find that Rusty has thrown up again! On my new clean second set of sheets!
So I proceed to go through the whole process of cleaning up again... Except I don't have any more sheets! So I throw down a flat sheet to sleep on top of. Rusty proceeds to roll around so that the sheet is just covering him... Okay. I finish cleaning up and finally get to sleep around 4:30.
In the middle of the night, Andrew starts to feel ill. He knows he's gonna throw up, so he runs into the kitchen (not sure why he choose the kitchen and not the bathroom, but whatevlls, at least he didn't throw up in Jing's bed.) He sees what he thinks is an open bag of garbage and vomits in it.
I wake up the next morning and find that the bag of garbage that Andrew threw up in was actually the bag where I had put all my sheets to be washed that Rusty had already thrown up on. Now my sheets are literally drenched in vomit. From two different people. I gave up and just threw them out (along with the blanket I made last year!) So now I have no sheets....
wah...
wah...
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Pinatas
I tried to make some pinatas last night, but every single balloon popped about 10 minutes after I blew it up, and therefore I could not make any pinatas, and therefore do not have any.
...wah wah
...wah wah
Thursday, May 7, 2009
my love bite
So today was the first day I didn't wear a scarf... after being in the office for about 5 minutes, our HR manager walks by and notices... he said it looked like I fell down stairs...
wah wah...
wah wah...
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Safety Glasses
I just took off my lab glasses, and two eyebrow hairs got stuck in them and got pulled out! Safety glasses indeed! I would have been safer without them! My eyebrows would at least have been safer.
Wah wah...
Wah wah...
Laundry
Instead of doing laundry earlier this week... I'm going shopping on my lunch break to buy underwear.
...wah wah
...wah wah
Friday, April 17, 2009
This blog...
...is a little wah wah right now.
No one's posted anything in over 2 weeks! ...and I don't have anything to post...
...wah wah.
No one's posted anything in over 2 weeks! ...and I don't have anything to post...
...wah wah.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
How to Catch a Maggie
I was walking from my lab today to meet my friend Nancy for lunch at Kendall. On the way there, you have to walk through a skinny MIT building where there are two normal doors and one revolving door. When I arrive at the building, I see about 8 signs like this one:
They're posted everywhere, taped to every door, to every single side of the revolving door, and even two freestanding signs. I say, "Hey! Here's something good and fairly easy I can do for the environment, it doesn't take any of my time or money, so why not!" (Even though I've been a little afraid of revolving doors ever since I saw that scene in The Godfather when they trap a guy in a revolving door and shoot him to death.) So I go through the door, and feel a tiny bit better about myself and my impact on the planet. Then, 20 seconds later, after I had traversed the length of the building, I come across a second set of doors I needed to go through to get to Kendall. Well what luck! Another chance to save the world, one door at a time!
I go ahead and start going pushing through the door, while a kindly-looking older Asian couple behind me waits their turn to go through as well (That's right! Not only am I saving energy, I'm inspiring other people to do the same! Captain Planet would be proud.) I'm a quarter of the way through the door, thinking of all the great super-easy environment-saving things I can do in the future, when all of a sudden...
BAM! The door stops moving...
"Hmmm, that's weird, guess this door is locked after all, guess I'll just go back the other way."
But alas! The door won't move that way either! I'm officially trapped in the tiny triangular air space in the revolving door, and have no idea how to get out. The nice Asian couple sure didn't know either, so they go run to a nearby cleaning lady for help. In the meantime, I'm standing there, looking like a sad little animal at a zoo being held captive in a space that was clearly meant for a much smaller animal, wondering to myself how much air people really need to survive.
In the meantime, people are walking by, going through the regular, functional doors, acting like there's nothing wrong, as if there wasn't a frightened blond grad student on display in a wedge-shaped glass cage immediately to their right. (a few people stop momentarily and look at me funny, but mostly they just go about their business).
Finally, after what feels like an hour but is more likely 90 seconds, the Asian couple comes back with the cleaning lady, and I think yes! I'm saved! When she gets closer, however, I see that she looks PISSED, and when she gets to me, she starts yelling: "What are you doing in there!? Why wouldn't you just use the regular door! It's locked! There's nothing I can do! You're stuck in there! I guess I'll have to call the security guard to come let you out... grumbleragglefragglesnargle stupidkidsmakemyjobsohard"
I feebly try to gesture to the 15 "Please use the revolving door" signs that have wallpapered the entire building, hoping that will appease her, but she just throws her hands up in the air and walks away, pulling out her phone to call what I can only hope is the security guard. I now am desperately trying to hold back tears because:
a) I don't like being yelled at
b) The Asian couple, apparently my only friends in this situation, have left me
c) I'm still trapped in a door.
Another hour (or possibly 90 seconds) later, the lady comes back, still yelling into her phone in another language (for all I know, she's just complaining about my stupidity to her friends), bends down to her side of the bottom of the door, and pulls up a little latch that releases the door. FREEDOM!!! I don't even care that this woman is now lecturing me about how she hopes that now I've learned my lesson about not using revolving doors, and I don't even attempt to point out the irony of her telling me this in the face of the 4 billion signs. I simply make sure the door is legit. locked now so it can't take any more prisoners, then carry on with my lunch and my day, but not before yelling out to the universe...
..."wah wah"
They're posted everywhere, taped to every door, to every single side of the revolving door, and even two freestanding signs. I say, "Hey! Here's something good and fairly easy I can do for the environment, it doesn't take any of my time or money, so why not!" (Even though I've been a little afraid of revolving doors ever since I saw that scene in The Godfather when they trap a guy in a revolving door and shoot him to death.) So I go through the door, and feel a tiny bit better about myself and my impact on the planet. Then, 20 seconds later, after I had traversed the length of the building, I come across a second set of doors I needed to go through to get to Kendall. Well what luck! Another chance to save the world, one door at a time!
I go ahead and start going pushing through the door, while a kindly-looking older Asian couple behind me waits their turn to go through as well (That's right! Not only am I saving energy, I'm inspiring other people to do the same! Captain Planet would be proud.) I'm a quarter of the way through the door, thinking of all the great super-easy environment-saving things I can do in the future, when all of a sudden...
BAM! The door stops moving...
"Hmmm, that's weird, guess this door is locked after all, guess I'll just go back the other way."
But alas! The door won't move that way either! I'm officially trapped in the tiny triangular air space in the revolving door, and have no idea how to get out. The nice Asian couple sure didn't know either, so they go run to a nearby cleaning lady for help. In the meantime, I'm standing there, looking like a sad little animal at a zoo being held captive in a space that was clearly meant for a much smaller animal, wondering to myself how much air people really need to survive.
In the meantime, people are walking by, going through the regular, functional doors, acting like there's nothing wrong, as if there wasn't a frightened blond grad student on display in a wedge-shaped glass cage immediately to their right. (a few people stop momentarily and look at me funny, but mostly they just go about their business).
Finally, after what feels like an hour but is more likely 90 seconds, the Asian couple comes back with the cleaning lady, and I think yes! I'm saved! When she gets closer, however, I see that she looks PISSED, and when she gets to me, she starts yelling: "What are you doing in there!? Why wouldn't you just use the regular door! It's locked! There's nothing I can do! You're stuck in there! I guess I'll have to call the security guard to come let you out... grumbleragglefragglesnargle stupidkidsmakemyjobsohard"
I feebly try to gesture to the 15 "Please use the revolving door" signs that have wallpapered the entire building, hoping that will appease her, but she just throws her hands up in the air and walks away, pulling out her phone to call what I can only hope is the security guard. I now am desperately trying to hold back tears because:
a) I don't like being yelled at
b) The Asian couple, apparently my only friends in this situation, have left me
c) I'm still trapped in a door.
Another hour (or possibly 90 seconds) later, the lady comes back, still yelling into her phone in another language (for all I know, she's just complaining about my stupidity to her friends), bends down to her side of the bottom of the door, and pulls up a little latch that releases the door. FREEDOM!!! I don't even care that this woman is now lecturing me about how she hopes that now I've learned my lesson about not using revolving doors, and I don't even attempt to point out the irony of her telling me this in the face of the 4 billion signs. I simply make sure the door is legit. locked now so it can't take any more prisoners, then carry on with my lunch and my day, but not before yelling out to the universe...
..."wah wah"
Friday, April 3, 2009
Mike the bartender
So, at Estate the other day, Rusty kept trying to take pictures of me and Mike the bartender. And just as Mike and I posed very adorably, Rusty's camera would die. After like the third try we gave up and Mike goes "wah wah..."
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Utilities
I accidentally paid my utilities twice yesterday... within a span of 10 minutes. I think my brain stopped working...
...wah wah
...wah wah
Sunday, March 29, 2009
From Philly (AKA Mike)
So... Mike is going home with someone from a bar. As he's walking to this guys apartment, Mike drops his Diet Coke. It apparently splashes on a stranger on the street. This stranger confronts Mike and tries to start a fight. Mike, being Mike, is like, it's all good, no worries... The guy Mike is with jumps up to defend Mike. They start to fight. Mike tries to pull them apart and gets hit with someone's elbow. He's thrown to the ground and either looses consciousness or blacks out. Same diff. He comes to some amount of time later, gets up off the ground and everyone's gone, both the stranger and the guy Mike was going home with, and the cops are there asking Mike questions...
wah wah...
wah wah...
Friday, March 27, 2009
Finding the Manor
Long story somewhat shorter...
I went to Estate last night. I got drank. I way overslept for work. Found myself in Quincy. Everyone in my office is looking for me. And it's about 10:15. Then I remember that Josh and I are going to look at an apt. in Beacon Hill at 11. I tell my office I'll be in by noon and go to meet Josh to look at the apartment. Oh, and I totally reek of alcohol and am wearing the same clothes as yesterday.
We're outside of the apartment waiting for the realtor to let us in. I sit down on the steps and suddenly know I'm about to vomit. Hits me like a brick wall. I tell Josh this. I say "I can't carry this backpack" and chuck it at him. I say "I can't read this message" and throw my phone at him. He asks if I want him to read me the message, I say "No, I can't listen right now. I'm about to vomit." He laughs... I start to cross the street to find a dark alley in which to vomit. I make it DIRECTLY ACROSS THE STREET and vomit on the sidewalk. Josh then tries to clean it up by pouring my remaining sweet tea on it to wash it away. However all that's in my stomach is sweet tea, so really he's just washing away sweet tea with sweet tea.
This is the location of said vomit:
View Larger Map
We go look at the apartment.
We then leave, we're walking up the hill and... it hits me again. I am about to vomit. I tell Josh and we start to walk down a slightly smaller side street. Josh points out a bush. I don't make it to the bush. I make it to a small planter that has someone's old christmas wreath in it. I vomit on that wreath like there's no tomorrow... Site of second, third and fourth vomit:
View Larger Map
Got total looks of judgment from people who could be my new neighbors and one fed ex delivery guy. Getting judged by a fed ex guy while vomiting on a christmas wreath is totally...
wah wah...
I went to Estate last night. I got drank. I way overslept for work. Found myself in Quincy. Everyone in my office is looking for me. And it's about 10:15. Then I remember that Josh and I are going to look at an apt. in Beacon Hill at 11. I tell my office I'll be in by noon and go to meet Josh to look at the apartment. Oh, and I totally reek of alcohol and am wearing the same clothes as yesterday.
We're outside of the apartment waiting for the realtor to let us in. I sit down on the steps and suddenly know I'm about to vomit. Hits me like a brick wall. I tell Josh this. I say "I can't carry this backpack" and chuck it at him. I say "I can't read this message" and throw my phone at him. He asks if I want him to read me the message, I say "No, I can't listen right now. I'm about to vomit." He laughs... I start to cross the street to find a dark alley in which to vomit. I make it DIRECTLY ACROSS THE STREET and vomit on the sidewalk. Josh then tries to clean it up by pouring my remaining sweet tea on it to wash it away. However all that's in my stomach is sweet tea, so really he's just washing away sweet tea with sweet tea.
This is the location of said vomit:
View Larger Map
We go look at the apartment.
We then leave, we're walking up the hill and... it hits me again. I am about to vomit. I tell Josh and we start to walk down a slightly smaller side street. Josh points out a bush. I don't make it to the bush. I make it to a small planter that has someone's old christmas wreath in it. I vomit on that wreath like there's no tomorrow... Site of second, third and fourth vomit:
View Larger Map
Got total looks of judgment from people who could be my new neighbors and one fed ex delivery guy. Getting judged by a fed ex guy while vomiting on a christmas wreath is totally...
wah wah...
Thursday, March 26, 2009
New Years
So on New Years, we drove to the harbor to see the fireworks. It was the coldest night of the year, but we wanted to brave it. We got there, and hunkered down in a little MBTA kiosk with other bostonite fireworks lovers, and waited for that wonderful, satisfying moment when we could finally, FINALLY see Boston fireworks after living here for 7 years. We were chattin up strangers all over the place... taking pictures with their kids, singing songs, it was a grand old time. All of a sudden, someoone looks at their watch and says hey! It's 12:05! Weren't there supposed to be fireworks at midnight?!
Nope! They'd been cancelled due to wind. So, not only were there no fireworks, the lack of fireworks made us all miss midnight.
wah wah...
photo proof:
double wah wah for nikki's face in this picture...
...wah wah...
Nope! They'd been cancelled due to wind. So, not only were there no fireworks, the lack of fireworks made us all miss midnight.
wah wah...
photo proof:
double wah wah for nikki's face in this picture...
...wah wah...
Clothes
I was walking down the hall just now and my cardigan got caught on the corner of a door and came pretty much completely off. It was very Channing Tatum in Step up 2, except less hot and more retarded awkward clumsy. No one was in the hall, but I still said outloud to myself:
wah wah...
wah wah...
Greystone
So my HR rep just pulled me aside and apparently our company is so strapped for cash that they're asking people if they can wait longer for their paychecks. So instead of getting paid on the first I've "volunteered" to not get paid until the 10th...
TOTAL...
wah wah...
TOTAL...
wah wah...
Taxi Cab Shoe Massacre ?
So Dennis and I were walking down the street (drank, obvlls), and he proceeded to be a dick (something about Nikki giving terrible directions to King Fun I think). SO, since I'm such a principled human being, I then refused to go any further with him until he apologized and stopped pissing on the sanctity of Nikki's infamous drunk directions. He didn't care though, and continued to walk! Bitch. So, I took matters into my own hands- I took off my shoe and hit that kid right in the ass. Now, having only been queer for about 2 years now, I've still got a pretty wicked right arm, and I got him where it hurts. However, much to my dismay, my super strength resulted in the shoe bouncing right off of him and landing in the street. Me, being a drunk dumbass, quickly follows after it, but had to stop at the curb RIGHT as a cab runs over it! Of course, this being hilarious, I fall down laughing, and miss my window to get it before ANOTHER cab runs over it. This sobers me up, and as I sit on the ground in front of Northeastern, looking at my poor, broken Walmart shoe, I whisper... "wah wah"
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Do-over
In the middle of breakfast today I decided to go back into bed, and then slept for another hour fully dressed.
wah wah...
wah wah...
Beer in the office
Coworkers just went to go grab a beer, and when they were all gone everyone got silent and just stared at me...
wah wah...
wah wah...
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Granola bar
The other day I was in the library working for a while, then got sooooo hungry and decided I wanted to eat the granola bar I'd brought with me. I packed up all my stuff, including my laptop, since I wanted to be good and not eat in the library. I got out into the hall, opened the granola bar, went to throw the wrapper in the trash, then the granola bar fell in the trash.
wah wah...
wah wah...
Lunch from Maggie
I stayed over at Maggie's last night. And I wanted to bring lunch the next day and not have to buy it, but all she had to give me was an orange and half a green pepper...
wah wah...
wah wah...
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